How should people prioritize their lives for healthy relationships?

People are always looking for ways to find peace in their lives.  There are endless books available on how to find the perfect husband, how to find financial security, how to find happiness, and so on.   A lot of people will give you different answers to happiness, be it trusting in God, having a good church home and/or being part of a family.  The question remains though – how should you prioritize your life for finding peace?  How you prioritize your life will determine a lot about your future happiness in regard to relationships, especially your relationship with God.  Prioritizing your life, according to the precepts found in the Word of God, is one of the most important things you can do to find true peace and happiness.  Thus, you will set the groundwork for establishing healthy relationships.

The most important priority is honoring God by putting Him first in every part of your life.  God spoke the Ten Commandments through Moses, to include the First Commandment – “You shall have no other gods before me.” (Exodus 20:3 NIV)  Moses later spoke the following words of encouragement to his predecessor Joshua and the people of Israel as they prepared themselves for their journey into the Promised Land.   “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” (Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV)  Jesus Christ further reassured His disciples with the words, “But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and remind you of everything I have said to you.  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:26-27 NIV)  In other words, if you place God first and follow His instructions, you will have the security of knowing that God will be by your side, helping you persevere through your lifetime of challenges as well as accomplishments.

The second most important priority is honoring God by fulfilling your family commitments.  In the Fifth Commandment to the people of Israel we find the words – “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” (Exodus 20:12 NIV)  In the Apostle Paul’s letter to the believers in Colosse, he outlines the following instructions for Christian households.  “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.  Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.  Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.  Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” (Colossian 3:18-21 NIV)  As a believer, you have an obligation to take care of your family, and your responsibilities change as you go through various stages of life.  As long as you place God first in your decision making process, your family will reap the benefits of having someone grounded in something bigger than him or herself…they will have a loved one grounded in the teachings found in the Word of God.

The third most important priority is honoring God by helping others to learn about His grace.  The words of the Fourth Commandment say, “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy.” (Exodus 20:8 NIV)  The author of Hebrews instructs believers to continue coming together as a group of believers, or as a church, for the purpose of glorifying God. (Hebrews 10:19-25)  In the Apostle Peter’s first epistle, he leaves the following instructions on how we should live for God and help others learn about His grace, especially within a church.  “Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.” (I Peter 4:10)  In the Apostle Paul’s first letter to the believers in Corinth, he uses several chapters for describing how the Holy Spirit has entrusted believers with spiritual gifts for serving others. (I Corinthians 12-14)   Jesus Christ has instructed us to love our neighbors as ourselves. (Matthew 22:39)  As a believer, you should bring glory to God by utilizing your God-given individual talent(s) and spiritual gift(s) as a means of sharing your faith with others. 

In conclusion, prioritizing your life for healthy relationships coincides with you finding peace.  First and foremost, you have to take care of your individual relationship with God by placing Him first and foremost in everything.  As for a second priority, once you figure out how to prioritize your own life, you can take the Godly principles you live by as an individual and apply those same principles to better fulfilling your familial commitments.  As for the third most important priority, once you begin to understand how the Holy Spirit works through your own life and family, you can better help others learn about God’s grace by serving in a church and sharing your faith through your own personal testimony.  The Apostle Paul makes it clear that a Christian leader needs know how to manage his or her own family before taking care of other people, with the rhetorical question – “If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church? (I Timothy 3:5 NIV)   Overall, the initial step for starting healthy relationships rests with each of us, as we seek God’s will for our lives.

How should people balance their lives for healthy relationships?

Relationships are a vitally important part of society.  It seems many people are often trying to find an ideal balance in their personal lives, whiles others will compromise who they are just to attain a certain goal.  In today’s world, most people interact with others on a regular basis during the course of their routine activities.  However, when it comes to close personal relationships, there tend to be certain traits (or lack thereof) that brings friends and family together as well as push them apart at times.  What can you do to find that even balance in your life to help ensure healthy relationships with others?  Below, you will find three areas of your life that are essential for making you a better person as well as have better relationships with others.  In like manner, you will need to find an even balance between these three areas in order to find a true peace within yourself.

For starters, you must make God the center of your life.  Otherwise, you may be setting yourself up for a disaster.  Without God as your firm foundation, where do you find stability in your life?  By being dependent on others?  Following the current trends?  In the New Testament, we find James describing how confused people can be when they are not grounded in the Word of God.  To describe this confusion, James uses the analogy of a man looking into a mirror who immediately forgets what he looks like after stepping away. (James 1:23-24)  The Apostle Paul also describes confused believers as individuals who are “…tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming.” (Ephesians 4:14 NIV)  In the Book of Proverbs, King Solomon does a great job at explaining how you should make God the center of your life.  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV) 

The second thing you need to do is find a well-suited niche and/or occupation where you can become a functional part of your community.  Otherwise, you may become co-dependent on others.  Throughout the Word of God, we find that people were generally an active part of their communities…be it tradesmen, farmers, wives, and so on.  Of course there were others who were less fortunate such as the widow, the fatherless, the alien, and the poor. (Zechariah 7:10)  In the Apostle Paul’s letter to Timothy, he gave certain provisions for believers to provide for their relatives who are truly in need, in order that the church can help those who are truly in need. (I Timothy 5:16)  On the contrary, the Apostle Paul gave a harsh warning against idleness in his letter to the church of the Thessalonians.  “We hear that some among you are idle.  They are not busy; they are busybodies.  Such people we command and urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and earn the bread they eat.” (II Thessalonians 3:11-12 NIV)  In other words, you need to take an active role within your community, whether you are working in an occupation or profession, being a “stay-at-home” parent, dedicating your time to taking care of a loved one, going to school or just plain enjoying your childhood or retirement.

The third thing you need to do is take time for yourself, otherwise, you may self-destruct.  Jesus Christ often withdrew himself from the crowds and went to quiet places and prayed. (Luke 5:16)  The author of Ecclesiastes tells us not to forget the rewards of our work and labors with these words.  “I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.  That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil – this is the gift of God.” (Ecclesiastes 3:12-13 NIV)  Your life does not revolve around just working and/ or serving others, but it also entails taking care of yourself.  Essentially, you need to have hobbies and/ or interests that you take the time to enjoy, regardless if your friends or family members take any pleasure in them.  Your own personal hobbies and/ or interests are what make you unique…they make who you are as a person.  Conversely, losing your individuality and a sense of being who you are could easily lead to many personal problems, such as depending on other things or people for happiness and/ or disconnecting from others.  Therefore, remember to relax and take the time to do things you enjoy in helping ensure you maintain your sanity.   

In closing, remember to keep an even balance in your life for your own benefit as well as others within your sphere of influence.  The three key areas that require equilibrium with one another are having God as an integral part of your life, finding a niche where you can be a functional part of your community and taking time for yourself.  Embrace the things that make you unique as a person.  Similarly, maintain your integrity, and avoid compromising your character, by remaining grounded in the Word of God.  Once you find that even balance in your own life, you can have healthier relationships and friendships with others by ensuring you have a well-balanced life that brings out your own unique qualities as well as emulates God’s peace.