What does the Bible teach about sex?

One of the most off-limit subjects in churches is talking about sex, especially outside the context of a marriage.  Too often the topic is completely avoided, as many pastors and Christians believe that even mentioning or talking about the subject may encourage young believers to engage in premarital sex.  Yet, are these same believers possibly doing an injustice to many of these people, by ill-preparing them for real world situations outside of the church environment?  In other words, a lot people outside of the religious realm perceive many young believers as being completely prudent and out of touch with reality – or totally naïve and easily persuaded to do things, such as premarital sex, due to their lack of knowledge.

 

Does it really matter if we avoid talking about taboo subjects?  Well, a lot of it depends on the timing and relevancy of the subjects in regard to any ongoing issues at hand.  Nevertheless, there are several Bible passages that talk about God’s people falling into problems…due to a lack of knowledge. (Isaiah 5:13; Hosea 4:6)  Obviously, we need to use wisdom and proper timing whenever addressing sensitive issues, but it does not reserve our right to completely avoid such discussions.  In reality, should believers learn about sexuality from within the context of the church and the Bible?  Or should believers learn about sexuality from people outside of the church, who may use another standard besides the Word of God?

So what does the Bible really teach about this sensitive topic.  Should sex only be addressed within the context of marriage and discussed only among adults who are married or have been married, as well as people considering marriage and in premarital counseling?  If so, how do pastors deal with the issue of teaching from the Old Testament book – the Song of Solomon – which uses the entire book to cover many intimate details about sexuality and marriage from the initial mutual compassion of lovers through the wedding details and beyond to the mutual contentment of the lovers.  In other words, the Bible freely talks about the importance of sexuality in a positive manner, within the context of heterosexual monogamous marriage, for all to read and learn.

    

On the contrary, there are many Biblical passages that teach against having premarital sex, or even having thoughts of sexuality or lust for others than your lawful spouse.  Additionally, there are numerous passages teaching against all kinds of sexual activity to include adultery, bestiality, incest, homosexuality, debauchery, and so on. (Exodus 20:14; 22:19; Leviticus 18:6-18, 22; Romans 1:24-27; Galatians 5:19)  Clearly, the Bible has many verses teaching against sex outside the context of marriage, including one of the Ten Commandments – “You shall not commit adultery.” (Exodus 20:14 NIV)

 

The Apostle Paul even goes as far to say that people who engage in these activities will not inherit the kingdom of God, with the words.

“The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like.  I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.” (Galatians 5:19-21 NIV, italics added for emphasis)

 

Does this mean that if believers were ever involved in sexual activities outside the context of marriage, they will not spend eternity without God?  It sounds like a simple answer, but many believers have fallen into the trap of getting involved in sexual immorality for various reasons.  Some believers end up falling away from the church and God, because they forget about the forgiveness of God.  Strangely enough, other believers end up falling into this same trap of becoming sexually active, due to frustrations over church leaders who may have falsely accused them of sexually immoral activity in the past.  Simply said, some people after getting wrongly accused of doing something unjustly, they end up feeling as though they need to lower their personal standards to the point that they have been accused.  As a result, many of these same believers fall into the mindset of feeling ashamed, unclean and not good enough for God, let alone any church.

 

Anyway, the Apostle Paul makes it clear that those who continue to live in sexual immorality will not inherit the kingdom of God, not necessarily those who may mistakes and sincerely repent of their actions. (Galatians 5:21)  In the Corinthian church, Paul addressed many problems of sexual immorality among the believers and explained the importance of sexual relations being solely within the context of a marriage between one man and one woman. (I Corinthians 7:1-5)  Additionally, Paul said – it is good for the unmarried and widow to remain unmarried; however, if they cannot control their sexual desires, they should marry, for it better to marry than to burn with passion. (I Corinthians 8-9)  In other words, Paul was not suggesting that everything believer who committed sexual immorality would not inherit the kingdom of God, but only those who continue in such immoral behaviors.  Regardless, any believers who may be involved in sexually immoral behavior would have struggles with their faith, due to the Holy Spirit working in their lives. (Galatians 5:22-25)

On the other hand, believers who think they can straddle the fence, by playing around a little bit unnoticed and getting away with it, often get a rude awakening.  In the Old Testament, you have many examples of Kings who turned their hearts away from God by marrying unbelieving women.  For example, King Solomon married many women who were unbelievers and as he grew old his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been. (I Kings 11:4)  In the same sense, the Apostle Paul warned believers against committing sexual immorality with unbelievers, in that they unite as one with them in flesh. (I Corinthians 6:14-17)  Basically, every time believers commit sexual immorality outside the context of marriage, they potentially bring all sorts of excess baggage into their spiritual and personal lives.

Overall, the theme throughout the Bible is avoiding all forms of sexual immorality, such as unfaithfulness to a spouse, premarital sex, homosexuality, and so on.  Conversely, the Word of God calls on all believers to remain sexual pure, whether they live a life of celibacy as single people  or engage in sexual relations within the context of healthy Biblical marriages – heterosexual, monogamous marriages.  The Apostle Paul summarizes this point with the following words.

“Flee from sexual immorality.  All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.  Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you received from God?  You are not your own; you were bought at a price.  Therefore honor God with your body.” (I Corinthians 6:18-20 NIV)